Entertaining the Modern Way - Dos and Don'ts

It is often said that people do not entertain like they used to. While it is true that most people do not host as many cocktail parties, formal dinners, and functions as in the past, that does not mean that the desire to gather ones friends for an evening of fun has disappeared. It is still great fun to have friends over to dinner, a holiday, or a sporting event, and it is made even more special by the novelty of being invited to a party. These are some dos and don'ts about modern entertaining.

Do: Make an occasion of it! Sure you could just have a "come as you are" dinner of take out eaten straight from the cartons, but every once in a while, it is a treat to host a true event. Send out invitations in the mail, get fresh flowers for the table, and wear a pretty new dress with a crystal necklace. If you would like your guests to dress up, be sure to note it on the invitations, lest half the crowd show up in jeans and flip flops. Fun touches like a beautifully set table, pleasant background music, and a signature cocktail will add to the ambiance of your gathering.

Don't: Invite friends to dinner and then tell them what they should bring. If you are interested in getting a potluck together, be upfront about it. But it is more special to invite your friends over to be your actual guests. The idea is that they will one day reciprocate, so that an ongoing round of nice parties can start to take place (or at least that is how it used to work). Of course, no proper guest would think of showing up without a little something for her host (a bottle of wine, a potted plant, a pretty tea towel), but that is a hostess gift, not the price of admission to the event.

Do: Think of a general theme or reason for your party. This may sound hard, but it is not. It might be something like "I am looking for an excuse to make sangria" or "I got a fabulous new crystal necklace and feel like dressing up". This will give you a direction to take when deciding on the food, formality, and other details of your gathering. You could also decide to have a dinner, brunch, or cocktails in honor of a birthday, a new friend in town, or in honor of another occasion (a promotion, book publication, graduation). Sometimes, the most wonderful evenings turn out to be the dinners or parties which were held for no reason at all - just for fun.

Don't: Feel like you have to go overboard expressing a theme. The insane tablescapes designed by Food Network host Sandra Lee are not necessary. While it can be nice to have some seasonal or thematic details, such as harvest colors for a Thanksgiving dinner or a centerpiece made of Christmas balls in a footed vase for a holiday open house, there is no need to go crazy. If you happen to have a football shaped chip and dip tray, feel free to use it for your Superbowl party, but don't run out and buy one when a classic white bowl would work just as well.

Do: Be an attentive host and make sure that all of your guests have a good time. If hosting a dinner party, plan the seating so that your shy cousin will be seated next to your gregarious neighbor who will get him engaged in the conversation. Make sure that everyone has their glass filled, that wallflowers are introduced to the rest of the gang, and that the flow of conversation is moving well and is upbeat (feel free to break up any heated debates about politics that threaten to spoil your party!). And of course, do make sure that you are not so busy in the kitchen that you forget to enjoy yourself too.

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