How to Get Rid of Uninvited Summer Guests

There are a number of ways to become instantly popular with family, friends, and acquaintances. One is to write a best seller; another to win Megabucks; and the third (and often the most effective) is to purchase a summer home.

Along with closing on such a purchase, one quickly finds he hasn't only obtained property, but hordes of unexpected (and often unwelcome) visitors. At one time,while living in Massachusetts, my parents owned a summer camp in Maine. It was before the Maine turnpike, and a six hour drive was required to reach their cabin on a lake. One Sunday afternoon, a co-worker of my father's from Boston, with a wife and two kids in tow, showed up on their doorstep in Maine and explained, "they were just out for a ride and thought they would drop in." (He'd probably be the kind to drive to the North Pole for a Polar Bear)

Needless to say, there was much scurrying about, not only to feed, but to house the freeloading foursome because they had purposely arrived at the dinner hour, and too late to complete the ride home the same day.

Friends of ours also purchased a lovely summer home ten miles from their residence, but gullibility wasn't part of the sales contract. Envisioning summers of uninterrupted weekends, they came up with a plan to thwart those visiting vultures, who always arrive in late afternoon just in time for dinner...or so they thought. Dinnertime comes and goes in my friends' camp without one opening of a refrigerator or the whir of a can opener! Food not only isn't served, it isn't even mentioned. Finally at 9:00 p.m. dinner is served, but by that time the ravenous company has hightailed it to the nearest fast food restaurant, much to my friends' delight. Needless to say, they don't get many repeaters!


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